Deep Thoughts From Bob the Horse (Updated 11/21/09)

Being a philosophical horse, Bob occasionally feels the need to share his wisdom

If a guy has a horse, he can get out of town.  With a fast horse he can leave quickly. But with two fast horses, he can get out of town, not only right away, but in comfort!

I was once an Amish farm horse, and it’s a good life.  However, if the farmer also has a tractor, life is better!

Being a Sorrel Belgian, I have a pile of Blonde Belgian jokes. I would tell you a few, but I have a feeling some of the mares would get upset!

I told Teamster Bob that he’s lucky horseflies don’t bother him. He responded that they do bug him, but they are called the IRS.  I told him to give them a good belly kick or tail swat. If that doesn’t work, try a couple of bucks and stomps.

Bill wanted to tell a “Deep Thought”.  I told him this is no place for a leader of horses or horse politicians.  They have a tendency to spout Harvard Business School rhetoric or political nice-ities.  This place is reserved for “Solid Horse Sense.”

Some guys have a bouncing ball, well not me. This horse has a Bouncing Bill.  Bill’s a nice teammate, but frankly, I’m not sure what to do about him. I’m concerned that his bouncy, trotty behavior will affect his health.  I think I’ll ask Teamster Bob to get in touch with that Dr. Phil guy. Maybe he can prescribe Bill a “Chill Pill”!

Roses are red, violets are blue. Two buckets of Oats for me and one for you - hey, I’m a big horse!

In the ‘60’s it was rumored that my great-grand sire did time pulling a chain drag for smoking grass. To prevent ending up with a dysfunctional family herd, I say don’t smoke the grass, eat it. It fills the belly and keeps you standing on all four hooves.

I’ve been silent quite a while, but when Barry’s beautiful, green, wool, butt pad made it’s appearance, it generated a deep thought - Don’t put that thing on me Barry; I’m not that secure in my gelding-hood.